THE VENISON SKIDMORE INTERVIEW

By Raymond Lott, Pocatello Informer

DRIGGS, ID- Scenic Highway 32 is one of the prettiest rides in all of Southern Idaho, with the Teton mountains looming up above a series of rolling hills and ranches. For years this area was populated only by ranchers and farmers, and for the most part, still is. But about two years ago a man named Venison Skidmore moved in, and things have never been the same since.

RAYMOND: So, Mr. Skidmore, what exactly is Planet Venison?

VENISON: Please, call me Venison. To answer your question, Planet Venison is the physical manifestation of an old dream of mine. In short, it's a nice little out of the way commune for aspiring and established artists.

RAYMOND: You say the commune was an old dream. Where did it come from?

VENISON: Well, I was born to a couple of Chicago Jazz enthusiasts years and years ago. A little airline mishap resulted in my having a more military upbringing, but my artistic genes have always been there.

RAYMOND: So the commune is a place for you to display your artistic expression?

VENISON: Yes, it's also full of free parking.

RAYMOND: Tell me a little more about your upbringing. What exactly happened?

VENISON: As I said, I was originally born to beatniks. But I was lost in a baggage miscommunication and wound up being raised by a sweet militant group of conservatives named the Torkelsons.

RAYMOND: You say militant. Were they stern disciplinarians?

VENISON: Absolutely. But I don't mean to put them down. It was the sort of discipline I needed.

RAYMOND: Have you ever found your real parents?

VENISON: I ran into them about fifteen years ago while I was shadowing Richard Simmons.

RAYMOND: Do you stay in touch?

VENISON: You bet. Dad's trying to put together a jazz trio in Milwaukee, with Mom as manager. I've offered to have them come settle in on the commune, but they say they can't handle the altitude.

RAYMOND: Maybe they don't think a jazz trio would take off in Idaho.

VENISON: But it would in Milwaukee?

RAYMOND: What exactly do you want to communicate with your art?

VENISON: Bob Newhart once said that 'Tragedy plus Time equals Comedy." I want to give people enough of a laugh to realize that life really isn't so bad.

RAYMOND: That's very noble. You've seen a lot of tragedy in your life.

VENISON: You're referring to my being fired by the CIA.

RAYMOND: Well, that plus separation from your natural parents. Plus being overthrown as dictator of a small island in central america.

VENISON: I don't look at them as tragedies now. They were probably necessary evils to get me where I am now.

RAYMOND: How about the future? Do you have any political inclinations?

VENISON: I have no desire or intention to run for office.

RAYMOND: Would you consider yourself a Democrat or a Republican?

VENISON: Neither. I find both equally amusing.

RAYMOND: How about socialist?

VENISON: Now you're getting nasty. But no, I'm no socialist. My little stint in totalitarian dictatorship showed me the value of capitalism.

RAYMOND: I'll bet your inheritance didn't hurt your view of capitalism, either. Incidentally, do you ever hear from anyone in Winnebago?

VENISON: My old driver still writes occasionally. I can't go there myself. There's currently an outstanding warrant for my arrest and subsequent beheading should I ever be spotted on the mainland.

RAYMOND: Both local and national governments are a bit suspicious with you out here, given your past. Not only were you a former central american dictator, but you were fired from the CIA for suspected conspiracy.

VENISON: That was just trumped up to help them save face. In the end, all they could do was have me committed for unseemly behavior.

RAYMOND: The Richard Simmons thing.

VENISON: Yeah.

RAYMOND: Speaking of celebrities, do you have many stop by? As I recall, you used to be quite the man about town. Has Bruce Willis come around?

VENISON: No, no Bruce, though I wish he would stop by. I loved Moonlighting.

RAYMOND: As of yet, I haven't seen any examples of your work on the Planet Venison web site. What pieces can we look forward to seeing from you personally?

VENISON: Over the next few months I plan on completing a lot of projects that have been in development for some time now. Some of them I even started when I was still in Winnebago.

RAYMOND: How about a preview?

VENISON: Well, I obviously don't have anything here with me, but I can tell you about a self-portrait project I've been developing. It will be a kind of series that displays a variety of scenes from my life along with accompanying captions and fun quotes.

RAYMOND: Kind of like the photo gallery that the site currently displays?

VENISON: In a way, I suppose, yes. The Minister of Agriculture put that together, actually. But I'd like to go for something a bit bigger. Instead of using regular photographs, I would use a variety of mediums: pen and ink, oil, even legos.

RAYMOND: One of your residents is a renowned lego enthusiast. Perhaps he could help you out.

VENISON: Yes, Heinz. Quite a man.

RAYMOND: You also have writing aspirations?

VENISON: Yes. I have an idea for a screenplay that I've been putting together for the last few years. I've had the opportunity to hear stories from a number of missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The Mormons.

RAYMOND: Yes, we're familiar with them.

VENISON: I am always amazed at the characters and experiences they describe. I thought it would be fascinating to put together a film that would show all of these zany experiences through the eyes of one missionary companionship.

RAYMOND: That sounds a lot like the screenplay Reggie Tubbs has put together. The first act is on your web site right now.

VENISON: Yes, Reggie. Quite a man.

RAYMOND: So what are the future plans for Planet Venison?

VENISON: We're kept pretty busy as it is maintaining our primary facilities: the art gallery, the theatre, the cafe. But sometime soon we're going to start adding here and there. We'd like to open up a retirement community, maybe even a go-cart track. We'll just take it one step at a time. Maybe things will open up and I'll win another guy's inheritance.