LETTERS TO THE FULL MOON Dear Editor-     You know, for months I had gotten used to the same old stuff on the internet. All of my credit cards got maxed out, I got sick of e-mail, and frankly, the chicks on those singles sites aren't nearly as hot as their photos. Then I surfed onto (INSERT NAME OF YOUR WEB SITE HERE). Finally, a reason to get up in the morning. VICTOR SINGLETON Pyrotechnics Coordinator, Salem, MA Dear Editor-    Hey, man, I totally dig the site. Have you ever thought about selling t-shirts? JIM JONES Geophysicist, Salt Lake City, UT Dear Editor-     I am a professional lobbyist for deer hunters across our nation. While surfing the net last week, I logged on to what I thought would be a site run by kindred spirits. Instead I get a bunch of social rejects that are hanging out in my backyard writing poetry and painting post-modern nonsense. The Full Moon is the harbor of the worst of it. Why on earth would anyone want to read an interview with John Denver's math teacher? You guys need to get a life. EDWARD STONE Lobbyist, Deer Huntin' Guys of Wyoming, Afton, WY Dear Full Moon-    Will anybody here recognize that Teddy Love looks just like Richard Nixon? Come on! Rich Dobb manicurist, Tallahasee, FL Dear Editorial Staff-    You wretches are sorry wretches excuses for human-beings. You will undoubtedly burn in Hell for this online abomination. It is a perfect example of the sleaze and garbadge that the general public eats up these days. I dearly wish that you and your guerilla supporters would do something productive with your talents, like publishing cowboy poetry. ERIC VON TRAPP Gospel Singer, Atlanta, GA Hey Losers-    Your site stinks. You must be real dumb or something. Get a life. ANONYMOUS Nashville, TN Dear Mr. Skidmore-    My name's Jamie and I'm seven. My teacher showed us your website in class and told us to send you a message and say what we think. I think your site is real good. I don't know lots of the words on it, but I think the dancing men are real funny, and my teacher Miss Givens says that you are a brilliant social satirist floating amidst a sea of rancid so-called humor. JAMIE SIMONSEN Actress, Seattle, WA Dear Editor-    I must say, sir, that at first I was skeptical as to the quality of such a site, as it didn't seem to have any sponsorship whatsoever. Nevertheless, as I forced myself to browse around, I was pleasantly surprised at the wit and subtle social commentary, particularly in some of the short stories. You seem to draw heavily from the pioneering animation of Terry Gilliam, and the post-modern written stylings of Kurt Vonnegut. I am also sure that much of the poetry was influenced by the short man that taps on my bedroom door on Thursday nights. 'Return my shorts,' he says. I don't understand him, or his requests. I happen to be a bikini brief man myself, and my apartment has not seen a pair of shorts since the Shah of Iran borrowed my room after his flight was cancelled back in '78. Of course, maybe those are what the little fellow is after. PIERRE Seal Clubber, Wales Dear Sir-    Sometimes when I come to work in the morning, I just don't feel up to par. On those days, I like to take some of Dr. Timmy's Booster Vitamins. They really hit the spot, and help me get back on my feet after a heavy hangover. TUK LOGASMAN Public Affairs Specialist, Pocatello, ID Dear Brother Skidmore-    I see a vast array of colors...reds, blues...yes, and some yellow. Pretty colors, and funny sayings. But this whole 'Venison' thing escapes me...is it an alias? Is it vanity? Could it be that you are a Scorpio? Your moon is full, Brother Skidmore, very full. ALAN SMITH Psychic Consultant, Iowa City, IA Dear Editor-     Just wanted to write and say "way to go" on the Al Sharpton interview. I had always wondered how he achieved such an immaculate pompador. You guys are the best! GLADYS HANKS Drywall Installer, Miami, FL